Handbook

Management has been making a bing deal about the Employee's Handbook recently. Probably because for the past several years they have been in such a rush to get new analysts up and running on the phone that they have been lax in making it clear just what is expected of people and this has led to a distinct drop in professionalism. Mostly, it's been in the form of people not showing up for work on time but in some cases it's sloppy adherence to the dress code and other less important things. Nothing's changed significantly in the document itself, however.

Some highlights:

"By signing below, you acknowledge that you have received a copy of the Corporate Helpdesk Handbook, and understand that it is your responsibility to read and comply with the policies contained therein and any revisions made to it. Furthermore, you acknowledge that you are employed "at-will" and that this handbook is neither a contract of employment nor a legal document."

So wait. . . if it's not a legal document, why am I required to sign it?

"The Corporation at its option, may change, delete, suspend, or discontinue parts or the policy in its entirety, at any time without prior notice. In the event of a policy change, employees will be notified. Any such action shall apply to existing as well as to future employees."

This is just making it clear that it's not a legal document. The Corporate Overlords can do whatever they want, whenever they want, and aren't to be held accountable for what they do. At least, though, they'll do you the courtesy of telling you.

"Each analyst is required to remain available (at their desk) with PC powered on and signed on to the Network 5 minutes prior to start of shift."

Five minutes early is 25 minutes a week which is 21.25 hours a year (with PTO taken into account). That's over $400 at my current hourly rate. Are you going to pay me for this time? No? Then you're going to get me when my scheduled times starts.

"Should you choose to resign from the Help Desk Project, The Corporation expects you to provide a minimum of two weeks notice to your respective Team Lead / Operations Manager / Site Manager."

Remember that "at-will" statement that you put at the beginning of the document? Here in Pennsylvania it works both ways. I am not required to give you two weeks notice. I could walk at any time and there is nothing you can do about it. In fact, were I to obtain another job I would expect the Corporate Overlords to not compensate me for the PTO that I had accrued. To ensure that I got what was coming to me I would apply for two weeks of vacation time and then tender my resignation the minute after my last timesheet was approved.