Wednesday, June 13, 2007

It's not like it's the end of the world

One would think that working for a major financial institution with 30,000 employees wouldwide all seeming to be calling me for their computer woes, I would have noticed something was amiss earlier in the day. Nope, missed it. When the call volume dropped to almost nothing in the afternoon I just figured the weather had gotten nice and people were cutting out early.

On a Wednesday.

It could happen.

One would think that the bicycle commute home would have tipped me off but, no. People were driving like lunatics. Jaywalkers were out in shambling droves and the parkway was at a standstill. Not unlike any other Friday.

Except it was Wednesday.

It's astonishing how your perspective can change one you're in a car. Encased in tempered glass and steel my mind was no longer occupied by the dangers of the commute and it was allowed to wander an notice things around me that I hadn't noticed before when I was concerned for my life:


Damn, I hate zombies. Well, it'd been almost a year since my daughter caved in the fender, so I wasn't concerned about any additional damage as clipped a few of the walking dead in Wilkinsburg. I had really wanted to get to bed early tonight because, even though I had intended to last night, it didn't quite happen. It's no fun being sleep depped when you're fighting the undead.

I got home without too much trouble and the sudden thundershower was a bonus. As I'm sure you are well aware by now, zombies often key off the sound of human activity and will begin walking towards that sound until they find someone to gnaw on. Rain, thunder and lightening kind of overwhelm that so they just sort of wander in circles or stand in place. My family had already barricaded most of the doors and windows with the pressboard from the uncompleted attic flooring project. I didn't bother checking my email and catching up on webcomics like I normally do when I get home but instead broke out the arsenal.
Of course, this isn't everything but some of the other stuff I had (like the bullwhip and the wooden stakes) really isn't useful against zombies. The two-handed sword is ok for loping off heads if you're out in the open but not really good for urban combat. And the bow, axe handle and machete was still out in the car.

Next, was to gather supplies should we have to use that car for an escape. There seems to be some debate amongst scholars about, when dealing with a zombie infestation, whether to make a run for the mountains or barricade oneself. If I were stuck downtown I would say, "Get the fuck out of there." Well, wait. If it happened during business hours, then Pittsburgh would be a smorgasbord and, yes, get out. But after 5pm, the city empties out and one could probably move about without too much trouble. Then, one of those buildings could be a veritable fortress.

But, out here in Churchill, it's the reverse of that. During the day, all the commuters are in town, working for the man and getting eaten by the undead while the only people out in the suburbs are stay-at-home moms and home-school kids. Once they are zombified, there aren't enough of them to mount an effective siege.

So, there it is. We stay. The storm masking our presence until we can secure the perimeter, douse the lights and wait it out. If things get a bit dicey it's a fast sprint to the car and off to the Laurel Highlands.

So, the final thing on the list is to choose what to do while waiting for the military to napalm downtown.
It could take a few days, so why not study up with the reference manuals. The wife hasn't seen Shaun of the Dead yet. That's a great film. I've seen it three or four times and showed it at last year's Confluence video room. And Hot Fuzz was terrific as well. I'm not sure which I liked better.

Mentioning Confluence reminds me that I have to work out the scheduling for this year's programming. I'm featuring pilot episodes of a lot of SciFi shows. I expect a larger attendance because of the nostalgia factor. And we've got a bigger hotel this year. I borrowed a projector as well but haven't tested it out yet. I was sort of putting it off so that I could test it with my new Dell Ubuntu laptop that should be coming soon.

This is, if the UPS guy hasn't had his brain eaten.

Well, might as well put the DVD in, sit back and relax.

It's going to be a long night. Again.

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