First, this is hysterical. Second, it reminds be of D****, team lead at the Help Desk, petty tyrant and my arch-nemesis.
With things so busy at the Help Desk recently, the seven minute guidelines have gotten even shorter. Now, if you cannot resolve the callers issue in FOUR minutes, they want you to write a ticket and end the call. You can barely find out what the problem is in four minutes, let alone implement a solution. If rebooting the PC is one of the troubleshooting steps then that will take those four minutes right up.
D**** has been IM-ing me regularly about wrapping up my calls and I have simply been ignoring him.
"You have failed me for the last time."
"That's what you said last time."