Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Fools rush in. . .

When I entered the building after lunch there was an alarm sounding. Flashing lights, annoyingly loud tones, announcements by security, the whole nine yards. I went back outside and waited for the whole thing to blow over.

For the 15 minutes or so that I stood there I could see security guards rushing about. Two fire trucks arrived and fully equipped firemen scouted around and, for all that, scores if not hundreds of people returning from lunch continued to enter the building and head for the elevators.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? A fire alarm means you LEAVE the building so that you don't die. Didn't they teach you that in Kindergarden? What the hell are you thinking? Sure, 99 times out of 100 the alarms are false but you're going to look really silly when Osiris is weighing your heart against the weight of a feather to see if you are worthy of entrance into the afterlife and says:

"So, let me get this straight. . . The alarm was going off, firemen were running around and yet you continued into the building to die a fiery death why?"

"I needed to check my e-mail before my lunch hour was over."

"OK. You're too STUPID to make it through your first life, we certainly aren't letting you into Paradise to be stupid for eternity. NEXT! Oh, hell, here's another one. . . "

I don't care how much they pay me or how important they think it is that I be in my cubicle answering phones, I am not going into a building when the fire alarm is going off.

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